Worst Things to See on our Performance Evaluation

(Real excerpts from performance evaluations)

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."

"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

"I would not allow this employee to breed."

"This associate is not so much as a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."

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Bad Interview

Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations were asked to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees:

An applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.
An applicant wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.
An applicant fell and broke his arm during the interview.
A candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries in the interviewer's office.
An applicant explained that her long-term goal was to replace the interviewer.
A candidate said he had never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.
A balding candidate excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later wearing a hairpiece.
An applicant said that if he was hired he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
An applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.
A candidate brought a large dog to interview.
An applicant refused to sit down and insisted on being interviewed while standing up.
One candidate dozed off during interview.

The employers were also asked to list the 'Most unusual' questions that have been asked by job candidates.

'What is it that you people do at this company?'
'What is the company motto?'
'Why aren't you in a more interesting business?'
'What are the zodiac signs of all the board members?'
'Why do you want references?'
'Do I have to dress for the next interview?'
'I know this is off the subject, but will you marry me?'
'Will the company move my rock collection from California to Maryland?'
'Will the company pay to relocate my horse?'
'Does your health insurance cover pets?'
'Would it be a problem if I'm angry most of the time?'
'Does your company have a policy regarding concealed weapons?'
'Do you think the company would be willing to lower my pay?'
'Why am I here?'